Lard Butt

This October the International Olympic Committee will decide if golf and/or rugby will be added to the 2016 Olympic Games.  I would like to propose a few other sports to be included:

1. Competitive Eating - With champions Joey Chestnut of the United States and Takeru Kobayashi of Japan already making it an international event, it only makes sense to include Competitive Eating in the Olympics.  Besides, what would bring the people of the world together better than watching someone down 68 hot dogs in 10 minutes?

2. Summer Biathlon - The winter version of the Biathlon involves the dangerous combination of cross country skiing and rifle shooting.  The summer version would include the dangerous combination of eating a hot fudge sundae while driving a car.  Summer Biathlon would test an athlete's ability to steer a vehicle by using only the knees, while not spilling melting ice cream on the upholstery.

3. Competitive Diving, Cannonball Style - The Olympic Games already feature diving competitions that are judged partly on how little splash is made upon entering the water, why not add a sport judged on how MUCH splash is made upon entry?  There could even be a second event dedicated to the belly flop (judged by the sound of the flop, and the redness of the belly).

Please post your own Lard Butt friendly sports the International Olympic Commitee should consider.